Forrest called

My Dad was an alcoholic and that figures in this story.  For years, he kept up daytime appearances, but gradually, it became more important to drink than to go out in public.  About age 65, he moved to a senior community where he didn't need to drive on a daily basis and that was fine with him.

Well, in the senior community, one Wednesday a month was sweeping day for the carports and every car had to be out for the afternoon. Dad had been drinking and got a reminder call to move his car.

He got into his car, backed out a car length, turned 90 degrees backwards, shifted into drive and blacked out.  The car rolled straight down the alley and hit a small tree at the end.  Dad banged his head on the steering wheel and the front bumper had a nice vee-dent in it.  The tree was knocked over and had to be replaced.  The paramedics took Dad to the hospital and I picked him up there late in the afternoon.

I remember taking him home, looking together at the car and the tree, and thinking to myself that tomorrow, the paper is going to say that "Bill Lever was drunk and hit a tree".  We are both William Lever, but our middle names are different, mine is "Dean", my mother's maiden name and his was "Forrest", his mother's maiden name.

Annoyed that people might think that I had hit the tree, I said to Dad, "Whenever you are a bad citizen, I want you to use you middle name so people won't think it's me."   He nodded in a haze and muttered an agreement. I thought that was that.

A couple of weeks later, I came back to my office from lunch and the receptionist gave me a message that "Forrest called".  Uh oh.

But then, it changed.  He remembered something about different names, so he began to mispronounce our last name.  We spell our family name "Lever" and the first "e" is long, pronounced "Lee-ver".  Perhaps 80 percent of the public will mispronounce the first "e" short, resulting in "Leh-ver"

Oddly, Dad, who was still doing consulting as civil and structural engineer, began to answer his telephone, saying in English style,  "Leh-ver here." 

This went on a while and I called his long-time attorney, telling him about his general state and the name change.  He recommended Dad might sign a power of attorney if it would become useful in the future.  We scheduled an appointment in his office.

On the appointment day, I arrived to pickup Dad with plenty of time, but he wasn't in any shape to go. I got him in the shower, dressed in suit and tie, and we arrived 45 minutes late. Only 15 minutes of our hour remained.

The attorney dangerously started by asking Dad "Bill how are you?" and there followed five minutes of his scattered, general troubles   Then, five minutes of amazingly clear recollection by both men of all the legal battles - this so and so, and that so and so, and that one too.

With only five minutes left of our hour, I interrupted out of the blue, "Mr. Attorney, what do you recommend?"

Without missing a beat, the attorney said "I recommend that Mr. Leh-ver over here sign a Power of Attorney for Mr. Lee-ver over there."   

"Great" said Dad and signed the Power of Attorney.

The Moment I Became Old Aged

I remember clearly the instant that old age hit me.

I was 62, going to a weekday lunch with a friend. We agreed to meet at their office at a school district.

At the front counter, the young receptionist called my friend and said they would be up in a minute.

On the wall behind the receptionist, I noticed a sign that read “AED Here”.

 

As background, around the year 2000, I did some consulting to an Australian company that had an interesting CD-based (pre-internet) training program for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) and Automatic External Defibrillator (AED). It needed to be converted from Australian English to American English and some of the Australian humor just wouldn’t work in America.

It was great going through the details of the medicine, the agencies involved, producing the American script, and hiring, coaching, and recording American actors to read it.  

Because of the consulting, I have maintained a more-than-casual interest in CPR and AED’s.  So, when I saw the AED sign, I was curious if and how the receptionist had trained to use it.

 

So, I asked her if she had trained to use the AED.

She gazed up and must have thought I was as old as the hills. Her eyes grew wide and she had a shocked and worried look on her face.

“Do you need it right away?” She said.

You are old aged the moment a casual question about a medical subject results in a 911 call.